Over drinks and hummus, my best friend and I got to talking about university and relationships and the decisions many young lovebirds have to make between graduation and Fresher's week: should we stay together or not? As someone who's been through her fair share of university-relationship drama, I thought I'd write a little something about my own experience at that oh too familiar crossroad.
For me it all started the week before my final IB exams, when my current boyfriend and I finally decided to actually date. After a month of flirty back and forth and a lot of "why are you in my life right now you're fucking up my plans to be single at uni", we decided to start dating. Like a lot of couples who are at the crossroads, we initially said that we'd "date for the summer and see what happens".
Well, that happy plan worked for about two weeks and we came to an extremely important question that I urge all couples to discuss at some point:
Do we have a future together?
Now when I say future I don't mean wedding bells and mortgages. Rather, if you look into your future say in a year, two years, or even five, can you see your partner there with you? Or if you haven't thought about it until this very moment, do you want them to still be there?
For us, it happened right at the beginning of our relationship because I'm incredibly impatient and I wasn't keen on wasting my time and starting University as a heartbroken wreck. Also, I made it clear to my boyfriend that if we were going to start dating, then I was going to be in it for the long haul because I'm just not the kind of person who's going to invest time into a relationship knowing that it's going to end.
Now, the decision for us to stay together came after a long discussion about whether or not it was going to actually be a viable option for us. We worked out that our Universities are only 3 hours apart by train and both agreed that that was a journey we were willing to make if that meant we could be together.
Looking back, I'm glad that we made that decision so early on because we got to spend the summer getting to know each other without the looming black cloud of a potential break up hanging over us. I ended up having one of the best summers with him and then got to start the rocky road of University with an unbeatable support system by my side.